ghxsts bio picture


Welcome to my blog!

Hello my name is: Icicle Audacity. All I see are ghxsts. I'm the misguided stride for self improvement - a sadistic, futuristic machine. A hollow cold emitted through vibrant lights, it’s a warm as wool winter but I’ve got a chill I can’t shake. This is what I am & I think I’m fine in my own misguidance. My bones are frozen, my marrow has turned to ice - my body is just a body, a corpse without a head. I'm just a vessel & my brain has long been dead.

Dylan McAmmond
En Vogue Photography

"That's really the only thing that matters to me, is that I make art for a living. And if I make art for a living... I win."


Everyone wants to get out of the rain, wants to be free, wants to see no more pain.
We’re guaranteed that the season will change, ’til then, I’m keeping sunshine on my brain.
When the drops hit my head they leave a stain, everyone wants to get out of the rain.
We cannot avoid nature’s bleeding vein, but I smile while it trickles down, the rain.

Harvested love only comes after rain, even though it brings overwhelming strain.
It falls from all skies so I can’t complain, without it, our growth would not be the same.
Most people like to have someone to blame, but it falls randomly, not taking aim.
It makes up one half of the yin and yang.
Without the water, you can’t have the flame
Without the water, you can’t have the flame
Some are content holding ground in their game, but when my soul steps to exit this frame,
I will be reincarnated as rain.

Harvested thought only comes after rain, artists may talk and give it different names.
When they appear wet, they may feel ashamed, so they don’t walk but instead take the train,
And when that ride stops they notice the strange.

Sense of degeneration they’ve obtained, while the world evolves, they stand and turn lame.
Storm is prerequisite to mental gain
Storm is prerequisite to mental gain
Philosophy’s life – that’s simple and plain.
Poets play with words to keep themselves sane, you do your thing while the clouds pour the rain.

Harvested skill only comes after rain, architects build under sun, so they claim, but when the puddles decided to hang.
Is when their hands sketched the plans that remained,
Every man secretly hopes he can tame, the beast he fears most ’cause it can’t be slain.
Towering, gray faces laugh so deranged,
One day we all will break free from their chains
One day we all will break free from their chains
And rise towards the sun with good health sustained.
It’s almost impossible to explain, but I owe all my success to the rain.


Now lately I’ve been thinking maybe I’ve been putting myself off like I shouldn’t – dog eat dog, do what you gotta do to keep your heart beating, and while you might finish on top, karma will be creeping. You know that when you come crying back I won’t be the one listening. Get on with your life, it’s just your breath that you’re wasting, get on with your life ’cause my time’s fucking priceless. Your words are like dull knifes and unloaded weapons, intimidating until the situation heats, then they’re worthless. In the life I’ve walked I’ve learned that when you feel something, then you better believe it – and you better want it when you act on taking what you can get, ’cause the last that you’ll hear from me are through these words that I spit. More queasy than sickness that cancer transmits – you live life with no purpose, one step leads to no “next”. Lay you on the stake burning because your mind is hexed, like poisonous gas finally pumped out of my lungs and bled out of my sweat. Saving my life by breaking you down in tears while you beg, not an ounce of sympathy left in me, so get the fuck out of my head.

some sense of security

We’re talking straight hate without right reason – remember kids, you can’t lessen shit without a lesson. So until your mouth stops spitting sounds off, until your fists start firing rounds off – Until you peel the mask off, strutting like all bets are knocked off. Eyes blood shot like you can’t doze off until you quit your teeth from shaking, speak your words without the vowels breaking. Until the man shows through the mouse, keep my name out of your mouth. You’re running like a faucet, face in your hands, mouth to the bottle. Not the soul I thought I knew, thought you had me but I took the hit, now you’re jamming just to throw a fit. It doesn’t phase me in the least bit – Oh shit, thanks for the heads up, almost forgot to pack my travel kit. A jury without a judge, “here you stand guilty”, no, I would rather sit. Thoughts feeling like flashbacks from shell-shock, friendships treated as over the counter stock. It might be flexing your head, but only thing running is your mouth. Your words are just words and your actions are without. Keep sweating cold & acting hot – because bullets sweat still rust. Head so high in the clouds you’re sucking back space dust, now what’s running off is what you shoulda thought, what’s catching up is what you shoulda got. Now what you’re living is what you’re really not. Dropping names just like you’re tossing change, case of the moth pockets, but a wallet straight stacked full of claims. Nose first into my brief case, I guess my business lost its name tag. This could get a little messy, 3rd strikes the accident…Ladies hold your purses – fellas get your bets in.

dumbed down & numbed by time & age

Lately, all I do is think, got a knot in my stomach and a sting with every blink. Regrets I can’t count on fingers and a life missing links. Now it’s got me up all hours at night – Who am I kidding? I never slept…I never sleep, this ain’t right. But now I finally understand the feeling of having something that you gotta keep, never had much love, but never took what I didn’t need. I see you with those teary eyes when I know you’re in need. When I’m gone, you’re still with me ’cause you’re all that I see – n ain’t that what you thought that song meant? I had these big dreams but a cold-as-ice heart when I never learnt to live, yeah – life taught me lessons hard. I let it get to me and now I’m paying what I shouldn’t, never walked away when you told me because I couldn’t. I got this sense of pride that I don’t know. Is it justified? But with everything I fucked up at least I can say I tried. I’d walk across the water like my last name was Christ, always walking with a smile, always knew I was right…sike. Never fell to my knees, never looked up with a plea – Never saught to believe but I was there for you n you for me. Please…I don’t need a god in the sky to point a finger in blame, don’t need to live through a lie, don’t need a soul to reclaim. But, I do need you like water and I’m begging for rain n now I’m left in the dark but I still ain’t afraid. Ain’t never wrote a love song but never said that I can’t now it’s got me up all hours into the fuckin’ night. It ain’t right. There’s gotta be something here that I’m just not seeing. . .

I need sleep.

for being a vegan you sure like beef

Pockets stacked and bags all packed, a cigarette-kill town with whiskey on it’s breath, and the tab? I’m done payin’ it. Lifeless loves & loveless lives. Buried youth – we pray for empty deaths to empty skies.

Great monsters devour the bones

You have no idea how much it hurts to watch you walk in circles on the living room carpet with every awkward, twisted step. I see you reaching for something that is being stolen from you. You have no say in this, you want no part of it but that’s not going to stop it from consuming your body and mind. I hope you’ll forgive me for my harsh silence and uncontrollable outbursts. I’m not mad at you, I’m just scared and I want my mother back. I know you are absolutely terrified and I would hold your hand through this if you’d let me – your denial is costing us all our sanity.

I’m not leaving because I want to, I’m leaving because I have to.

Ash - love you bud. love reading your thoughts.November 13, 2010 - 10:58 am

cage capacity

If actions speak louder than words then I guess I’m whispering a trembling train of clumsy thoughts and anxious thinking, under the chill of a cold sweat in a colder room. Can you hear me over the chatter of my teeth or the slipping of my spine for the first time in my life? Outside the world’s self-destructing but in here we’d do just fine.

make noize

I’ve filled my heart with hate and what some might call a break-down I call a face-first fall to broken teeth, with a blank expression sitting comfortably on an unshaven face. I’m following the white rabbit and I don’t have an ounce of anything left in me for second thought to hesitate, so don’t hold your breath on me. I wouldn’t wait for me.

Don’t remind me, don’t rewind me. Make it stick and turn me to stone. Break my heart and wear my bones.

american beauty

Remember those posters that said, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”? Well, that’s true of every day but one – the day you die.

this guy knows what’s up…


oh girl this boat is sinking, there’s no sea left for me.

She’s splattered paint on drapery; I’m a blood-stained mess, a lying thief. And to be honest I’m not half of what you seem to think.
Vacant lot, a water drop, the kettle to the blackest pot. When I drop closed my eyes, another censored soft core scene: Stripped of what you want to see, twice as slow and half as deep. Split cells, egg shells, royalty. Black puffed eyes and vulgur speech. Knocked him out for pushing speed, and she still tastes like ketamine. Breath held blue to miss a beat. Blow clean your lungs of nicotine, cut my throat and breathe for me – please. Press your lips to slow the bleed, I want to feel your breath in me.

Drain your soul and cross your bones don’t make me do this on my own.

pick a card, any card

“in an effort to make ’em all see what I found in my life I decided to give ’em a look – none of ’em gave it a glimpse and I guess that I’m sitting in the middle of an unread book.”